Sighs & Smiles: Hoping for the Best

Welcome back to my second edition of Sighs & Smiles! I’m thinking of posting one of these at the end of each month, as long as there’s enough content to make it worth while.

Here’s a brief update of this past month; the good and the bad. Is it just me, or has February flown by?


  • Still no luck on the job front. I’ve put out a few applications, but honestly there’s not much to apply for at the moment in my area. I thought I had an opportunity though — I received a voicemail from an HR Director of a company I applied to and immediately called back. I left her a message, but didn’t hear anything. Called again and left another message two days later, and still didn’t get a call. Frustrating. After a few more days I gave up on that one.
  • I recently found out my cousin and his wife, who live about an hour away from me at the moment, will be moving across the country this summer as he accepted a better job. This is bummer, because both of them are close to my age and are really enjoyable to be around. I don’t get to see them much even now, but obviously those times will become less since they will be so far away.
  • I’m still struggling with self-esteem issues because of my weight. Though I am gaining pounds, it’s very slow and I’m impatient. I’m sick of the majority of what’s in my closet not fitting, still don’t like what I see in the mirror, and if I think about it too much it brings me down. So I try to ignore it best I can.
  • I continue to have issues with the incision site on my abdomen, where a fistula formed. Some weeks it’s easy to manage because its not too active, but just when I think it’s healing and my problems there are coming to a close, it basically laughs and gives me the middle finger. This back and forth situation of being in pain and feeling all right is tiresome.


  • This weekend I will be traveling to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., for my first appointment with GI and oncology specialists. This gives me a lot of hope concerning the future of my health, especially since my current health system doctors have either failed to give me concrete answers, fix me completely, or abandoned me all together. I’m really hoping they can provide some insight about why complications from surgery are still ongoing and more information regarding my questionable cancer scare. So far all I have on my schedule is consultations, but the doctors can add tests if they feel those need to be done. I’m guessing they won’t just yet, but we’ll see.

  • I continue to have incredible support from family, friends, and even people who know me and my situation through others. I have received a number of generous gifts to help me while I have no income, and my mom’s coworkers even hosted a benefit so my costs on the trip to Mayo Clinic will be fully covered. How blessed am I?!
  • After more than a month of frustration and filling out paperwork, I was finally granted a Bridge Card from the state to help me with buying groceries! That seriously takes a load off.
  • John Oliver is back with his show after a few months hiatus. That definitely warrants a mention under this category!

How has your month gone? What have been some of your own sighs and smiles?


About Karin

Journalist, singer, reader, movie fanatic, photography buff, GVSU alum, wanna-be-Brit, Crohn's fighter, Coca-Cola addict, animal lover, not a kid person, hater of winter, Michigander
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